A Blog On Cold Calling

My first corporate job of sorts was in 1992.

One of the things they really grilled into us was how to answer the phone, not only the broader company line but our direct lines at our desks. They had an actual sheet of the ways we were supposed to answer, and also the ways we were absolutely not supposed to answer.

Back then, they grilled us to answer this way: “Hello, this is,” FIRST NAME AND LAST NAME, COMPANY NAME, then “How may I help you?” For me, that might be, “Hello, this is Rob Mathison from Widget Inc., how may I help you” Sometimes, during a deadline, it could be a mouthful, to be honest. But that was the expectation and most people answered that way because it wasn’t a battle worth fighting with management who expected us to answer that way.

Sometime in the early 2000s, it started to get more casual. Increasingly people answered with just their name. “This is” and FIRST NAME AND LAST NAME. Then it became increasingly their first name, as in, “This is Rob.”

I loved those times. Quick, efficient, with some identifying traits.

Now 90% of the time someone answers this way, “Hello?” in a heavy (almost depressed) voice.

No identifiers, no enthusiasm, just, “Hello?” like their dog had just died a few hours before answering the phone. People have been answering the phone this way for more than 10 years now, and it still throws me off.

The other 10% of the time? The answerer does’t say anything at all. Just silence. Waiting to see if it’s a voice or a robot on the other end of the line. This is true whether I’m calling a land line, cell phone number, or even someone’s direct work line.

I’ve had to adapt.

Because if I wait for a hello from someone I’m calling, they hang up because they think it’s a robo call. And if I ask for the person or say “Is this Bob?” then they also hang up since they don’t recognize the voice and assume it’s a sales call.

So I’ve had to learn to be assumptive. Veerrrryyy assumptive. As in, if the phone stops ringing I have to assume a person answered even if they don’t say anything, and then I have to assume it IS the person (don’t ask if it’s the person, or ask for the person, just assume it is the person) because otherwise they’ll hang up.

We live in strange times. So much stranger than 25 years ago. When healthy companies are constantly firing people, and people make increasingly less effort to be professional or personal when they answer the phone. I’d blame cold callers, but there were just as many (if not more) cold callers 25 years ago, only we called them Telemarketers and they often called not only our work numbers but our home lines. So I don’t think it’s the number of calls people I receive, I think it’s just the casual times we live in.

I’ve had to adapt. And I’ve adapted okay. But sometimes — like today when a man answered his work line with a “Hello?” in a very low and very dead voice (sort of like Martin in the Honeymooners might answer but with less charm) —- it still throws me off. In this case I said, “Hello, Bob?” So of course he hung up right after I asked this.

Sigh. Such is the life. And that’s okay. The next person will be friendlier.